There are many great life lessons being learned here. One of the most important for me so far is that while I was living in Minnesota my ability to learn things about myself was limited. As I have come into the daily routine of life in Slovakia and been separated from all things comfortable and familiar to me, everything about how I am wired and what makes me tick has come to the surface and been exposed in a way I have never experienced before. At first it’s a little uncomfortable. As time goes on it’s down right scary. It’s not a pretty picture to see your baggage up close and personal or to have it exposed for the whole world to see.
It’s been difficult for me to not get caught up in worrying about how my “stuff” appears to other people. What will these people think about me, will I lose their respect, their trust? What I have learned before and am learning even better now is that this concern or worry is a waste of time and energy. Because in that realm inevitably I end up focusing on doing damage control and image repair which doesn’t benefit me at all as I miss the point completely. This is the same baggage that I was mostly able to conceal and ignore in Minnesota because I was going along in my set routine of living among people and places familiar and comfortable to me. What I am finding out is that with the journey I am on here it’s not an option to ignore and conceal. I guess it feels a little bit like enjoying a shower in the privacy of your home only to realize the walls of your house have collapsed and the whole neighborhood is watching. Can somebody hand me a towel please?