To say that I totally understand this amazing sacrifice would be a gross misrepresentation of my true thoughts and feelings. God’s story is full of mystery and things I will never understand this side of eternity. And this is precisely where I have departed at times from God’s story to begin writing and living out my own script. There is a powerful anxiety that rises up in me as I encounter these mysteries because they can easily be mistaken as holes in the story. I personally struggle mightly with disorder, unanswered questions and what feels like a lack of direction or focus. But the reality is, this is what faith is all about. It is accepting that there is much about life I do not and cannot know. There are many things in life, my life, which I have no control over. It is resigning myself to the comforting and also scary realization that God is in control, in ways I do not understand.