One of the things I have been hearing from God lately is something Jesus told His disciples, “…do not be afraid.” According to the feedback I have been receiving from some of you, I believe that is exactly what God wants me to hear right now. The fear of losing control of my image and your respect has disintegrated as I read the feedback from you as well as people I don’t even know. Really the opposite of my original fear seems to be happening. Readers of the blog can find elements of what they are reading that relate to their own lives. Sometimes that helps us to give ourselves permission to enter in to this process of trust and to do it without fear. The only way I have found that I can really go into it without fear is to realize and embrace the reality that God can and should be trusted. It starts with understanding and embracing the amazing, unconditional love my father God has for me. Once that love relationship is firmly established then I can believe and trust that God has my very best interest in mind and would never do anything to hurt me or betray me or reject me. I am so thankful today that God loves me way too much to leave me as I am. In other words God knows how much deeper my ability is to love and be loved by Him. It is obvious to me God wants to bring change, healing and transformation into my life for the very reason that He loves me so much. The question I was confronted with is, will I choose to allow God do what He wants to do. I could have refused God in this deal. I could have said, “…thanks but, no thanks. That looks much too painful or scary to me.” And for many years of my life, that is exactly the answer I gave to God. This was not a conscious, external process with God but a subtle, internal process. God was constantly inviting me into a deeper relationship with Himself by offering to heal me and release me from the places I had imprisoned myself. Quietly and often times without knowing it I was refusing to give God access to my heart. Which is essentially telling God "no." It is astounding to me that as a puny, fallible human being I have the power to decide what the creator of the universe can and cannot do in certain areas of my life. Now that is scary.