The past 3- 4 months of my life have been saturated with change and growth as this very special time in my faith journey continues to unfold. Along the way there is pain, confusion, insight, transformation and awakening. One of the most difficult parts of this journey has been the way it has played out so publicly. It is quite humbling to have so much personal, sensitive information about yourself accessible to so many others. One of the primary ways the experience has been made so visible is this blog site, which is under my direction. I don’t know if I can explain to you why I decided to essentially bare my soul so publicly. The only thing I can tell you is I know that it was supposed to happen that way. It would not have been my first choice however but here lies an indication of one of the things God is changing in me which is my tendency to convince other people that I have it all together. This is one of the ways I attempt to receive affirmation or love from others, to convince them of my value. Some would say everything we do as human beings is motivated by the desire to be loved. Out of countless other desires we experience as humans, the desire to be loved is the deepest, most significant desire. So the danger with my decision to allow others to peek into my soul as I experience this time of healing and transformation is that I might lose control of the image I have tried so hard to create and maintain with many of you over the years.